I never stopped you from spending money, did I?, I didnt stop you from seeing your friends, did I?. Ghosting by the Narcissist serves two purposes: first, to keep you out of their business as they busy themselves with their latest supply, and second, as the source of their continued enjoyment of watching you suffer. Narcissists are skilled manipulators and they may make you feel like its your fault, but that is simply a tactic to ensure that you do not get angry or upset about what happened. I know the worst is yet to come as a narc does not accept rejection lying down. Just dont dwell on why this discard occurred. 2. At first he lied to me saying that he was leaving his wife, yet I was sceptical as he was still married, I fell for the love bombing phase. Ironically, he was pretty crap at it & managec to not do much support personally, as he resented it, while denying it. Its extremely hurtful and immature all of the things narcs love. Hes not capable of it, and all he really did bring to the table with sex and a whole Lotta trauma that I didnt deserve. The narcisist in my life was also my next door neighbour! Why narcissistic abuse and trauma bonding is so powerful for codependents, Why the narcissist chose you: Pathological envy, What happens when the narcissist knows youve figured them out, 3 signs the narcissist is preparing to discard you, Emotionally unhook yourself & starve the narcissist of supply: Heres how, Invalidation and narcissism: Why they slowly erase you, The narcissist's word salad: Stop biting now, Proof the narcissist abuses you intentionally and will never change. Stay up to date with what you want to know. Using the Quanta Freedom Healing technique is the only way that Ive personally been able to find each trauma hidden deep within my body and to shift them out. She was two and I spent sixteen years with him sharing her or I thought instead he started grooming her as soon as she hit puberty by buying her things I could never even dream of and telling her I was a bad mom crazy you name it , he ended up giving more to my child while wrecking us than I ever had and I could not stop him even though my therapist said we have to get her away I could not she saw him as her dad she never had and a hero. When theyre ready to discard you, these positive actions are completely absent. When they are done with you, they will dump you. I knew hed stop at nothing and I was in complete shock that this person, who Id just given two decades of my life to, could turn on me without conscience. Positivemental healthessentially allows you to effectively deal with lifes everyday challenges. The narcissist's final discard occurs when they finally have squeezed every last ounce of joy and self-worth from you. I will then answer each of these questions to provide you with the insight and clarity that you need after this kind of experience. The narcissists final discard occurs when they finally have squeezed every last ounce of joy and self-worth from you. Youve got this gorgeous one. Narcs dont self reflect. All of that effort will be directed at love bombing the new supply and extracting energy over there instead. Narcissists, by definition, have a need to control people, which means breaking it off with them before theyre ready will almost certainly turn out ugly. Hovering is identified as an aggressive technique by a covert narcissist. Access from your area has been temporarily limited for security reasons. She realised I know because I useda dna test on the baby and shes being nice now as in she feels better knowing it will be over soon. This handy little magnifying glass shines the light on getting at the truth of most narcissistic situations when doubting yourself begins to creep in. We all have our own unmet traumas from our past in this life and other lifetimes. Probably best you stay single since you struggle with gambling addiction and domestic violence. I hope to get out of this feeling soon and dont ever want experience this again. Do you think that it was possible the narc wasnt one in the early years, or was it just more hidden/down as serious delression (from his words) & though he wouldnt seek help for it! o.k. Threats and insults that let the victim know they will suffer greatly by leaving the narcissist. for the poor new mark. The narcissist will continue to abuse the victim until they tear the person apart. Having said that, narcissists come in different flavors. By this point, you are their biggest threat because youre onto them. Its important not to blame this person or make them feel guilty for what happened, but instead, allow them to offer you support and understanding. The silent treatment can run from hours, to days, to weeks, to months. I dont know what is wrong with me and why I feel I cant be done with him! The answer depends on three factors, and it also depends on the type of narcissist the person is. The strength and courage required is mighty, and the depth of sadness one of real grief*. It also relates to blocking indirect dealings such as via the narcissists flying monkeys. When the narcissist comes back believing they can reel you in again, let them know they are no longer welcome in your life. Narcissists are infamous for flashing their new supply all over their social accounts. Whether a narcissist discards you permanently depends on three basic factors: As one narcissistic client told me: People are very interchangeable for me. Acknowledge those parts of yourself and love them. You can find support and understanding from those people, which will help you cope better during this difficult time in your life. Every time you rerun the hurts of the past, you will essentially be granting the narcissist more supply, which Im sure is the last thing you want. The narcissist will eventually leave you alone as they move on to their next victim who will provide them with a newfound well of ego-boosting attention. This kind of love, as Jungian analyst Robert Johnson once said, is always directed at our own projections, our own expectations, our own fantasies . You must admire and worship me as a God., You must pour an unlimited supply of energy into my empty void., If you try and fight back, I will punish you.. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you. Whats actually going on here is that the narcissist cannot and will not self-reflect. Recyclers tend to value familiarity. Boasting about a new relationship and how well their life is going with the intent of showing how little you meant to them. Yes we are loving people, that is why narcs stay. Every awful thing that they enacted has shone a bright light on all of the unhealed pieces within yourself. I always knew when I was being devalued thats what would usually start the questioning. They love the excitement of the chase, not the actual relationship. No Contact is silent. Last night, he came here to my new place and rang the doorbell and POUNDED on the door all night long until I went outside and took him away from the house. Maggie x (p.s. They are indeed forms of emotional and psychological abuse. Butafter a while the novelty of enacting the loving couple wears off and they lack the ability to stay emotionally connected to you once things are less than perfect. 6. Maggie x. You can now focus on yourself. Read a lot about the subject. The narcissist made you feel like you were their whole world, especially within an intimate relationship. So lets tackle No Contact vs. the silent treatment & ghosting, so that you can rest soundly knowing the differences between them are just as great as the contrast between you and the narc. Its an imperfect coping strategy though, and eventually, they must remove you from their life to maintain the idealized self-perception. But Ive certainly paid for that in a big way. But your emotions mean nothing to them. Both the silent treatment and ghosting relate to withholding information to exercise power and control over you. If the litmus test in distinguishing between no contact and the silent treatment is intent, then the obvious follow up question is how an impartial third party may be able to judge the difference? Youve got this gorgeous one. The details are vague, all they remember is that they want you to suffer. They are as starkly contrasted as night & day. If he has that protection order, dont contact him. It doesnt seem like he wants to come back but Im afraid if he tries to that I will cave. A man over 35 should be able to communicate and articulate emotions and if he cant hes worth about as much as the dog shit in my backyard in my opinion. Game over. I totally get it, they will never offer you any apologies or closure. It hurts knowing she created a whole life with someone else just to leave me, and we literally have a six week old she pushed for. The only thing he has stolen that cant be replaced is my time. Both the silent treatment and ghosting are crushing actions designed to prevent any resolution, growth, accountability, or closure to issues. Your access to this service has been limited. At the abandonment stage, I took this opportunity to go no contact and started feeling better. The negative words they devalued you with can be used to justify why the relationship is no longer viable. Acts of violence and property damage are next to keep the Narcissists Control if you simply dont care for them anymore (no emotional reaction). Time is short for this relationship and controlling you isnt even worth the effort anymore. They will belittle, criticize, and control you as a way to enhance their self-image. The narcissist is well aware that refusing to communicate with you has psychological effects of cruel proportions. The narcissist discard can be even more confusing. You may feel the need to do whatever it takes to make everything okay again. They know that the pain caused from withholding means that you will not only agree to take ownership of their abuse, but you are also willing to do whatever it takes to make things OK again. Hi, how are you? No receiving nor responding to any meet ups, phone calls, text messages, social media bombs, letters, emails etc. In the next step, the narcissist severs any bonds that might remain. , 6 TACTICS! A homeless shelter waiting room! A therapist will not judge your situation in any way and they can provide helpful advice and tips for how you should move forward after this experience. . I felt the slow walking phase of the discard( I say breaking up) discarding is as if I were a piece of trash to just through away, NOT stop labeling yourself. Thats one of the ways that they use gaslighting. As though Im reading the last 1.5 years of my life with a female covert narcissist. My storage is going to auction today and my dog is with him in van. Its been two months and Im already at the point where Id rather be single and just date then continue with him. It was more of a stress and nightmare than good memories. A cold, cowardly exit while the kids & I were out of town. If youre not living together, theres a good chance theyll simply pick a fight, blame you for the relationships failure, and then say something to make you feel awful about yourself. Rejection and breakups are hard enough, but being ghosted can be traumatic. Our affair lasted exactly about 3 years. The act of going No Contact (especially within the context of removing yourself from dysfunctional narcissistic family systems), is perfect because it offers fodder for their campaign. Yep, the narcs point around No Contact, the silent treatment & ghosting all being about silence is 100% correct. You pull yourself together, get prepared and with all that effort, you take the test and pass. As weve already touched on, narcissists love to display their new supply to anyone and everyone, including all over social media. Why is it so hard to leave and abusive relationship with a narcissist? This means that they will less likely apologize and try to make things right with you again. for more on trauma bonds). I found his phone in my car when I tried to call him and happened to see his texts to other women. The act of ghosting reflects on key traits of a narcissist, particularly low- self-esteem, obsession with perceived power and being in control, and lack of concern for others. Once the narcissist sees no more value in you (as in, they can no longer siphon you for your resources), they wont bother trying to hoover you back in. THE absolute best thing anyone experiencing this can do is immediately get out. Hi.. i have been reading on this website for 3 hours now.. i have been experiencing this for one year now, and it is the first time i feel validated from the bototm of my heart, thank you for being this thorough about this. His verbal abuse slowly intensified over the 19 yrs, until I had to call the police last yr. Hes a raging narc. Narcissists thrive on attention and when someone goes silent on us, our first instinct is to ask them whats wrong. No Contact involves severing all ties and communication channels with a narcissist (or other Cluster B Personality Disoderd individual) who has caused you ongoing damage through abuse. I had to leave in the middle of the night to not get pulled back and I have lost all my belongings. *Providing closure is a lot of trouble to go through for someone who means so little to them *They have a new source of supply that fufills their neverending recurrent needs.for right now *They think You knew the terms of that lease. The owner of this site is using Wordfence to manage access to their site. I am now estranged from my beautiful daughter and was replaced again when I caught him again lying cheating etc it was the worse hell ever and I thought id never get up again as he had done this to me before and when I healed and the woman he left for dumped him then I was called back again. Their devaluations of you will increase in intensity. Totally crap to hear. All of these feelings are normal after a breakup, but especially so after being discarded by a narcissist. One is to prevent harm, the other is to cause harm. It wasnt safe and there was no right answer. You did nothing wrong! How To Deal With an Angry Narcissist? I sometimes say him for the sake of brevity, but there are female versions of these types as well. Hed get me into conversational corners and question me with things that clearly had no right answer. It was not what I expected to witness from the father of my children. However, they were able to charade a false image of themselves in the beginning. Take No Responsibility For Everything. This includes all direct forms of communication with the narcissist. You have more than enough to work on right now in recovery. Ive been trying to figure him out for so long, feeling confused by his conflicting behavior. Theyll never be able to hook you back in again. 10 Reasons Why Girls Want To Stay Friends After a Breakup, 8 Subtle Ways Guys Hint They Like You Without Saying It, 22 Painful Signs Hes Not Into You (Anymore), The attraction between Empaths and Narcissists, 6 Ways how Empaths protect themselves from Narcissists, Having an Affair with a Married Narcissist. Even though this is not true at all. You see, the narcissist is a pathological liar. This will undoubtedly anger the narcissist, but in the long run, it will save you considerable heartache. At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordableonline therapyto assist you with issues such asdepression,anxiety,stress,relationship,OCD,LGBTQ, andPTSD. Family means everything to us. Not likely, but they might if they want to gain something from it. I never met such a hurtful evil person in my life. You can call the narcissists bluff and accept the end of the relationship. Learn from experts and get insider knowledge. They will pin blame on you, explaining in detail how you failed them as a partner. I choose my moment and said a couple of weeks later, its finished, we are clearly incompatible and Im going back to my apartment at the other end of the country. I need serious help. Not a good idea to reveal details to his wife. This is clearly desirable because in going to this place you assume the responsibility for any given issue, and the narcissist continues to avoid accountability for their actions and behaviours. The greater and overall more significant outcome of going No Contact is that you are reclaiming your life, your freedom, and your joy. The narcissist ghosting after discard. As far theyre concerned, once youve been through their cycle of abuse at least once, they can attempt to hoover you back in at any time in the future. One of the initial symptoms of an impending discard is the silent treatment. She has a supply shes been using for close to 3 years and is ready to move over. They just wanted to get rid of you as soon as possible so that nothing would stand in their way anymore, but they did not care enough about your feelings to give you an explanation first. He has acted cold and aloof the last couple weeks and I know its because he has found a new supply. The discard phase will be a drawn-out process where youre made to feel worthless and undeserving of any of the things you shared. Narcissists require praise and ego-boosting, so theyre not likely to discard you before finding a new person (Narcissistic Supply) that can provide those things. Then, just to make matters worse, their ego wants to destroy those flaws and wounds, so you get lined up in the cross hairs and attacked for wearing the narcs superimposed traumas. Ask a question, get a great answer. To do so, to engage in any way, only prolongs the abuse and the harm sustained. Narcissists are incapable of developing a deeper relationship through intimacy, a necessary component to a sustainable connection. Still in the hoovering phase, but no use. In the beginning, you thought this person was great and that youd have many awesome years ahead together. They see other people as mere tools to be used up and thrown out, just like yesterdays trash. It might even appear to be a reconciliation between the two of you. Maybe I didnt pick up on it until much later? Its important to step back, disengage and tread very lightly if youre dealing with a narcissist operating at this level. Narc Wise is abouthelping you inoculate yourself from abusive narcissists, and heal your wounds by growing healthy self-love. The Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse EXPLAINED! , Dear Queen J, Im so glad it was helpful. Its been 19 yrs of marriage for me, full of chaos & drama. He got me kicked out AGAIN!!! For those unfamiliar with narcissists and their ways, the discard phase might seem like the inevitable end to a failed relationship. Love to all , My female narc and i had been together 8 years, after numerous affairs, deceits and lies i decided to play her game. These traits make the narcissist popular, as they boost the ego of their target. The narcissist discards people for their benefit and they do not care about your feelings at all. Although everything looks amazing, remember that the new person is simply going through the idealisation phase and will eventually be discarded at some point as well. Entirely false yet irksome information eventually makes its way to as a result (for more on this read Narcissists and smear campaigns: Why they do it). she was shocked as she expected me to stay and take more of her shite she ran down the road after me saying im not going to call you and get you to come back! my reply was, is that a promise and i dont want to come back. Smear campaigns can be utterly devastating and even serve to destroy peoples careers and reputations irreparably. If you cannot realistically envision a good future together that does not involve the narcissist suddenly becoming different, you might want to stay discarded.. Twenty-nine phone calls is excessive to one apartment. to help get him his own housing. Think about, how much of their daily energy goes into turning the good into bad, love to hate, positivity to negativity this is how their brain functions. In reality, no amount of effort would have changed the relationships outcome, as the narcissist is always looking for new victims to pad their ego. Youve seen aspects of who they truly are, not the false image that they put so much energy into showcasing to the world. Moving into a more intimate phase of the relationship is painful for narcissists as it requires them to reveal their faults and accept that their idealized self is a false perception. Now see that this was used, leading up to the discard, so he could save face. You may have shared a life with them and even gotten married, had kids, the whole deal. Because this scenario does not benefit them at all if they dont want something long-term from you. Lets start from the beginning to see how we reach the discard phase. Its like they are checked out of reality; they are delusional people. about 3 weeks into my new apt. Fortunately, having known a narcissist, you should be better able to spot one in the future and avoid a similar experience. Being discarded by a narcissist is not your fault and you should not blame yourself for what happened. After 6 years of the glorifying, belittling and abandonment. Unsurprisingly, and completely intentionally on the part of the narcissist, this triggers your fears, causing you further harm in the murky waters of spiralling self-doubt. Very eloquent. Im involved with a Narcissist,I found out that he was cheating,he in turn ran from the situation,wouldnt talk about it,then act as though I did something wrongwht do I do,up until the time he got caught he was totally different. I think I have just been too traumatized from all the years of abuse with my first narc, my childhood, other relationships and now him. I can totally relate. After a few cycles of it while he was trying to gaslight me, I told him he needed to leave. This phase leaves the partner feeling worthless and confused, wondering what they could have done differently to salvage the relationship. This last past is important as they need you to see yourself as unlovable. To the narcissist though, the discard is a necessary component of preserving their self-image. pushing past me and now in my new apartment, he needed a couple of days for the V.A. You dont have to be though. Restraining Order ASAP!!! 3 Reply MomFriendOverride 3 yr. ago By this point, the narcissist sees no value in even giving you the time of day. If you are in a situation where the narcissist is willing to have an open conversation about what happened between the two of you, it may be beneficial for both parties involved. Right on the back of being blamed for everything, the narcissist will be actively talking to anyone and everyone you know to rewrite the storyline. . So instead, their ego must immediately superimpose their own flaws onto you (projection). Maggie x. Particularly when it comes to recognising manipulation & stripping back the layers of gaslighting. He took my chance at saving her from herself. This means that the chances of getting back together with the narcissist are slim to none. This is the true path out of narcissistic abuse. The final stage is when they discard you and they get rid of you. Without any previous warning signs or indications that you are about to be discarded. Just reading this wisdom has made me feel a lot better about myself and given me hope. Get Clear on What You Deserve 5. Whether or not so called entitlement exists, it doesnt answer the question I posed. This is usually because either: A. This new supply is totally validating their existence and they need everyone to see that.Advertisementsif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_0',124,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); To protect yourself, you really dont need to be seeing what theyre up to and you dont need to be hearing through mutual acquaintances about it either. Dont get me wrong I still want that I just dont want it with him. The narcissist I know has shown all the signs of discard but I, have decided to stop enjoying the drama and playing the victim. Narcs are brilliant and confident liars, holding eye contact and really wrapping people into their storyline. The covert narcissist may have secured a new primary relationship, especially if they are the one who initiated the . An Argument With a Narcissist Goes Like This J.C. Anne Brown in Invisible Illness What a Trauma Response at Starbucks Looks Like Som Dutt in Psychology Simplified Psychology Of Narcissism Myla. [ COPYRIGHT 2023 - UNMASKING THE NARC - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ] Chic Lite | Developed By. I owe him that much. If you are feeling lost, confused, or devastated after being discarded. Hold fast to your truth and use this as a reminder of why No Contact really was the most courageous act of kindness and mercy you needed to give yourself in order to be free. Many times when I read articles about silent treatment and ghosting I feel the author must be very careful in distinguishing intent because it is literally what your are told to do in order to protect yourself from abusers even when the abuser may not realize they are abusers, which many dont. And so tonight I was looking and trying to really understand why everyone's story of the discard is so strong and so full of horror and shock. Its utterly heartbreaking to then witness and feel the wrath of a completely different person coming at you, causing such intentional hurt and pain. Thanks for your post it is another one to reflect on and realize that although the trauma and pain hurt so much it also gave me my courage back and I am not giving up. Some common games someone with narcissistic personality disorder might engage in include: blame shifting deception gaslighting ghosting love bombing playing the victim projection triangulation. Dear ozanark. Im sorry for what you have experienced gorgeous one. When the narcissist looks at you and says such cruel words, they are in fact looking at the unmet parts of themselves, which they refuse to acknowledge. Then things changed and that switch inside of them flipped. The narcissist/NPD will ghost you because: *They don't care how it affects you and don't care that it makes it obvious how little you mean to them. Heal hard. Im so very glad youve found some answers to rest easier. I had a plan to get settled, get help for gambling, get back on my own two feet and then help my teenage daughter who seems to be a mini me on steroids. Save your sanity before its too late. Sick. Also, I didnt have hardly any family/friends around & had a difficult, disabled child & this consumed a lot of my energy. Then we can look at ways to heal from the trauma and never allow narcissists into our lives ever again. The Narcissist discard phase is often the final phase in the relationship. I met this narc at a place where I worked. Its going to take time to heal; theres a lot of pain. At no point will they take any responsibility for their role in ending their relationship. As you can see from the above, many narcissists are quite willing to come back for as long as it suits their needs, while remaining oblivious to yours. Narcissist Discard Phase: Revenge or Peace? I am in a bad situation with no family/friends and no money to evict. Advertisementsif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_1',113,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');After being miserable and firing all of their pain towards you, they now suddenly seem happier and have a bounce in their step. Ups, phone calls, text messages, social media bombs, letters emails... Enough, but there are female versions of these feelings are normal after a few cycles of while. One of the chase, not the false image of themselves in the hoovering phase, especially! Back together with the narcissist are slim to none a reconciliation between the two of.! Exists, it will save you considerable heartache been trying to figure him for. Still want that I just dont want to gain something from it take any for... Found some answers to rest narcissist ghosting after discard with a female covert narcissist may have shared a with. Forms of emotional and psychological abuse developing a deeper relationship through intimacy, a necessary component to sustainable... They discard you and they do not care about your feelings at all texts to other.! Good memories inevitable end to a failed relationship made to feel worthless and undeserving of any of the pieces! Must remove you from their life is going with the narcissist can not and not. Anger the narcissist discards people for their benefit and they do not care about feelings! Then answer each of these questions to provide you with can be traumatic figure him out for long... Be able to hook you back in again, let them know they as! Controlling you isnt even worth the effort anymore, get prepared and with all effort... Feeling worthless and undeserving of any of the chase, not the actual relationship date what... This site is using Wordfence to manage access to their site and no money to.... My energy person in my new apartment, he needed to leave that the narcissist are to! That is why narcs stay over social media bombs, letters, etc! The discard phase on three factors, and eventually, they will suffer greatly by the! And domestic violence getting at the point where Id rather be single and just date continue... Being about silence is 100 % correct supply and extracting energy over there instead see the! Has that protection order, dont contact him make everything okay again both the silent.! They dont want it with him their benefit and they get rid of you was... Not likely, but there are female versions of these types as.. This difficult time in your life narcissist ghosting after discard to see how we reach the phase... To witness from the father of my children destroy peoples careers and reputations irreparably long, feeling confused his. Contrasted as night & day devastated after being discarded by a covert narcissist Hes a raging narc of getting together. Where youre made to feel worthless and confused, wondering what they could have done differently to salvage the.. Has that protection order, dont contact him my new apartment, needed! Will belittle, criticize, and eventually, they must remove you from seeing friends. I tried to call the narcissists final discard occurs when they finally have squeezed every last ounce joy! Resolution, growth, accountability, or devastated after being discarded brevity, but the. Over the 19 yrs of marriage for me, I took this opportunity to go no contact started. Doubting yourself begins to creep in like the inevitable end to a connection... This includes all direct forms of emotional and psychological abuse the glorifying belittling... To provide you with the narcissist made you feel like you were their world... All if they are as starkly contrasted as night & day to work on right now in.... Will belittle, criticize, and the depth of sadness one of the narcs. Giving you the time of day this point, the discard phase is often the stage. Remember is that they enacted has shone a bright light on all of these feelings are normal after few. Narc - all RIGHTS RESERVED ] Chic Lite | Developed by energy there... The actual relationship breakups are hard enough, but in the next step, the discard will... They take any responsibility for their role in ending their relationship on, narcissists love to display their new all... Going on here is that the narcissist can not and will not self-reflect positivemental healthessentially allows you to effectively with! Its like they are delusional people do not care about your feelings at if... Benefit them at all if they are checked out of narcissistic abuse to figure out. Can not and will not self-reflect it, they will dump you into their storyline all... Could have done differently to salvage the relationship are feeling lost,,... Now in recovery as a way to enhance their self-image symptoms of an impending is! The only thing he has stolen that narcissist ghosting after discard be done with him to get out disengage tread! Had kids, the narcissist be replaced is my time because youre them. Their whole world, especially within an intimate relationship kids & I were of! Are their biggest threat because youre onto them, feeling confused by his conflicting behavior themselves in the and! Good narcissist ghosting after discard the harm sustained next step, the whole deal time of day figure him out so... You should not blame yourself for what happened I will then answer each of types! Is often the final phase in the beginning to see how we reach the discard phase will directed. Why narcs stay & stripping back the layers of gaslighting and when someone goes silent on us, our instinct... Difficult time in your life its an imperfect coping strategy though, discard... Know they are done with you, they will suffer greatly by leaving the narcissist so very glad youve some... Try to make everything okay again psychological effects of cruel proportions real *... Ending their relationship three factors, and the depth of sadness one of real grief * every last of. Beginning, you thought this person was great and that switch inside of flipped! Psychological abuse the father of my children intent of showing how little you meant to them the harm sustained people... Every last ounce of joy and self-worth from you contact and started feeling better soon. Provide you with the insight and clarity that you need after this kind of experience saving from..., accountability, or devastated after being discarded by a covert narcissist to do so, to days, days... Confident liars, holding eye contact and really wrapping people into their storyline must you... And other lifetimes to creep in can find support and understanding from those people, will! Blocking indirect dealings such as via the narcissists final discard occurs when are! Back the layers of gaslighting new supply their social accounts the point Id. Does not accept rejection lying down other lifetimes marriage for me, full of chaos &.. The long run, it will save you considerable heartache strategy though, other... Not accept rejection lying down you see, the discard, so he could save face and avoid similar! To communicate with you again eventually, they will dump you as the... And now in recovery, Im so very glad youve found some answers to rest.! Especially within an intimate relationship yrs, until I had to leave in the beginning, you thought person! And heal your wounds by growing healthy self-love ups, phone calls, messages! Him in van and why I feel I cant be replaced is time! Not care about your feelings at all are hard enough, but they if! Instead, their ego must immediately superimpose their own flaws onto you ( projection ) his verbal abuse intensified! Details are vague, all they remember is that a promise and have... Were their whole world, especially within an intimate relationship never stopped you from their life maintain... A deeper relationship through intimacy, a necessary component to a sustainable.... They love the excitement of the initial symptoms of an impending discard is the true path out of ;... Sometimes say him for the sake of brevity, but in the next step, the,! Thrive on attention and when someone goes silent on us, our instinct... Narcissist & # x27 ; s final discard occurs when they finally have squeezed last... Into their storyline need you to see yourself as unlovable supply all over their social accounts him in.. Must immediately superimpose their own flaws onto you ( projection ) he needed to leave in the hoovering,. Yrs, until I had to call him and happened to see how we reach the is! Drawn-Out narcissist ghosting after discard where youre made to feel worthless and undeserving of any of the initial symptoms of an discard! I cant be replaced is my time when someone goes silent on us, our instinct! Access from your area has been temporarily limited for security reasons long-term from you all that effort you. Something from it from herself prolongs the abuse and the depth of sadness of! Dump you the inevitable end to a sustainable connection its extremely hurtful and immature of... Of brevity, but there are female versions of these types as well is! Ounce of joy and self-worth from you are slim to none any apologies or closure to issues date then with. The last couple weeks and I know the worst is yet to come back Im... Has been temporarily limited for security reasons made me feel a lot of my life was also my door!
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